Understanding People: Fastest Way To Better Sales, Better Interviews with Nancy Zare

Want more engaging interviews, warmer leads, and fewer awkward stalls? We sit down with sales whisperer and author Nancy Zare to decode how four personality styles quietly drive trust, timing, and the word choices that make people lean in. Nancy’s AlikeAbility system maps buyers by decision speed—2, 4, 6, and 8—and reveals the value language each style needs to hear: outcomes and efficiency for fast movers, process and proof for deep thinkers, and balanced blends for those in the middle. The twist: most of us show a social persona on a pre-call, then switch to a decision persona when the stakes rise, which explains why a great screening chat can turn into a sticky recording.

We dig into Nancy’s five-step framework: understand the four styles and their values, identify your own defaults, diagnose the other person in under a minute, shift your words to match their priorities, and sand down the habits that create friction. For podcasters, that means smarter guest selection, tighter prep, and on-the-fly adjustments that keep conversations crisp instead of combative. For creators and coaches selling services, it means dropping sales resistance without feeling pushy, using value words that feel natural and precise rather than resorting to mirroring tricks that can come off as phoney.

You’ll hear practical cues—vocal pace, question density, patience level—that help you spot a style fast and choose the right on-ramp: “Here’s the fastest path” for 2s, “Here’s the evidence behind the method” for 8s, and a calibrated mix for 4s and 6s. Nancy also shares a free AlikeAbility assessment to identify your ideal prospect’s dominant style so you can tailor offers, CTAs, and interview structures with intention. Ready to turn rapport into results and make every conversation smoother? Listen now, grab the assessment, and tell us which style challenges you most. If you found this helpful, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who hosts—or hopes to.

Chapters

• 0:04 Welcome And Show Focus
• 0:40 Meet Nancy Zare And Her Creds
• 1:34 Dogs, Autobahn, And Icebreakers
• 3:42 Why Personality Styles Matter In Sales
• 5:28 A Childhood Story That Sparked The System
• 8:47 The Likability Sales System Explained
• 11:21 The Number System: 2, 4, 6, 8
• 14:10 Dual Personas And Reading Shifts
• 16:10 Applying Styles To Podcast Hosting
• 18:12 EQ, Teachability, And Language Over NLP
• 20:12 Free Likability Assessment Offer
• 21:40 Final Quote And Action Step
• 22:09 Credits, Reviews, And How To Connect

Transcript

Carl: 0:04

Welcome to Communication Connection Community, the Podcaster's Podcast. This podcast takes a deep dive into modern-day communication strategies in the podcasting space. We chat with interesting people who make the podcasting and speaking spaces exciting and vibrant. We also dive into the podcasting community with news, updates, latest trends, and topics from this ever-evolving space. Let's dive into today's episode. And my guest today is Nancy Zare, sales whisperer and author. She's the creator of the AlikAbility system. She shows professional business owners how to turn 50% of their prospects into clients. She earned her master's and doctorate from Boston College and authored seven books, including an Amazon International Bestseller. We're going to find out about that and some other things as well. She resides in Florida, she is a student of spirituality and recovery and volunteers as a foster family for the Farm Dog Rescue. Her secret desire is to go racing on the Autobahn. And we are so thrilled she's joining us today. Nancy, welcome to the podcast.

Nancy: 1:21

I am excited to share nuggets with the audience, Carl. Can't wait. We're going to talk about personality.

Carl: 1:28

Before we do that, though, and I love your energy, by the way, before we do that, let's get some personal stuff out of the way. Okay, firstly, your love of dogs. I'm a dog lover. You're a dog lover. How many dogs have you fostered?

Nancy: 1:40

Well, in the last two and a half years, 35 dogs. Number 34 and 35 are currently residing in my home. So, folks, if you hear some barking, whining, that's what's going on.

Carl: 1:52

It's not Nancy, it's the dogs in the background. So and it's not me in the background either barking or whining or complaining. So, Nancy, thank you so much for all that you do to make sure that our furry friends, they're family members too, right? So thank you for taking care of them when they need it the most as well. Okay, so tell me about the Autobahn. Tell me about the secret desire to drive on the Autobahn. Where does this come from?

Nancy: 2:15

I am a speed demon. I love, I have a heavy foot on the gas pedal. And in the United States, there are limits to how fast you can go. I have accumulated a few of those, what's called speeding tickets. So much so that I actually was redirected to driver's education school. Okay. Interesting. All right, audience, now you know who I am.

Carl: 2:41

If we should refer to them as speeding tickets or non-all access paths, I don't know. So that needs another name for because Oh, I like that. You know, speeding, everyone else is going slower than you want them to, right?

Nancy: 2:54

So well, actually, I mean, it was the cop car that wasn't moving at all that tagged me at going high speed. So, anyway, it's all good. I've since been re-educated. Uh, but does that mean I have stopped this desire for speed? No.

Carl: 3:11

Hence why you need the Autobahn to just open it up and have some fun with that. An environment too, where they already, I mean, it's a very from what I understand, even though there's various speeds and and everyone basically drives at the speed they want, there's a pecking order or there's a people know. Like if you're a slow driver, you go where you're supposed to be slow. And if you're a fast driver, drive where you drive fast. That's just anyways, I love it. I just I just needed confirmation of where is this coming from? Is this a family heritage thing? So, anyways, I'm I'm glad that uh I'm glad that you shared that. And yes, we are talking about personality styles today. And you might be wondering why, you know, a show like ours, which is aimed at podcasters and podcasts too, why are we talking about personality styles? So, one of the things I didn't mention is Nancy is a sought-after podcast guest as well. And she does live streams. So she has experience with content creation and sharing her message. It's not like she just fell off a turnip truck. She she knows what she's talking about. And I want to know the parallel between what you do and why it's so relevant in the podcasting space. So, why is personality styling so relevant in the space?

Nancy: 4:19

If you deal with people, you're dealing with personality. And hence that's why it's relevant. One of the great things that my clients report, we focus on helping them make sales. As you mentioned, I uh help them convert 50% of their prospects into clients or even more. What they tell me is the real benefit of our work together is their relationships improve in their families and out in society. And that's because they're able to read the other person's personality style and make adjustments so that things go more smoothly. Isn't that a wonderful thing? Because there isn't a person here on the planet that doesn't have someone that they kind of rub the wrong way and and they don't really appreciate, and they don't appreciate you, and hence it's it's important to learn how to get along, right?

Carl: 5:14

Absolutely. And I would chalk it up to some of that. I don't necessarily appreciate that person. Maybe in some cases it's a misunderstanding, but maybe that's the whole point is it's not understanding that person's where where that person is coming from on a deeper level.

Nancy: 5:28

You're correct. And it started, Carl, if I can tell a quick story about the origin of this. I was 10 years old. My parents had a very stormy merit. And my earliest memories are of the cupboards banging and the glasses breaking and door slamming. It was, you know, loud voices. It was not a good scene. I saw a show on TV that Father Knows Best was able to help quarreling children get along. And I said, ooh, my parents need that. Now, the interesting thing is they let me do this intervention on them. Now, I didn't even know the word intervention at age 10. All I knew is I was going to do what Father Knows Best did, and I sat my parents down. Now, the kids were in a couch. Obviously, for TV purposes, they had to sit next to each other. But my parents were so angry they could not sit next to each other. However, I started with the oldest, which was my dad, and I wouldn't let mom interrupt. And I asked what was the matter, and then I had my mom do the same thing. And at the end of it, Carl, I translated what my parents said because they did not understand each other's conversation. Now they were both native-born English-speaking adults. So what was it they didn't understand? The personality style, the values underneath that style. And hence they were butting heads all the time. When you understand someone else's style, that person that rubs you the wrong way, you may not like them and want them as a friend. It can make the relationship go more smoothly, and hence both of you will walk away in a better place.

Carl: 7:08

It's certainly something that just the way you've described it is would be crucial in sales because you are talking to people on a regular basis, and or you should be if you're trying to be successful in sales. You shouldn't be just talking to one person thinking, okay, I made a sale, unless you, I don't know, sold the world or something. In that case, that's a hefty price tag. But you would be remiss to not be understanding of call me crazy, but you would be remiss to not be understanding of where the other person's coming from and hopefully not need an interpreter like what you had to do with your parents to figure it out. I would say that sales training 101. Would I be wrong to assume that?

Nancy: 7:46

Absolutely on target. And again, think about the value of being able to read or understand how the other person operates and what are values and priorities to that. You see, at the end of that conversation with my parents, I turned to my dad and I said, This is what you're going to do, so mom will feel loved. And I said to my mom, this is what you do, so dad will be respected. The words change. And that's because they speak different languages. They had different personality styles. And so you're not going to change yourself, but by changing the words you use, adjusting what you say to match the values of your prospect or whoever it might be, your podcast guest, or maybe it's a podcast host. When you adjust what you say, you're going to be in harmony. And there's going to be a sense of, wow, you get me. We're alike. And hence I call this the AlikAbility sales system.

Carl: 8:48

So this is a system that you've created.

Nancy: 8:51

Yes.

Carl: 8:51

I want to get some information about that. I don't want to give you, you know, have you give away your best stuff or anything. Obviously, that's what your clients are for. But is there a specific system or systems that you tapped into to create your own system that has paved the way for you?

Nancy: 9:07

Well, it's understanding that there are four different personality styles. And each of those personality styles has a priority around certain value. So when you speak the values of those styles, that's when the person immediately says, Wow, I feel connected with you. You get me. And they relax, the trust builds, sales resistance drops away. Now everybody loves to buy, hate to be sold. That's what sales resistance is. So sales resistance drops, and now that opens the door to doing business together. Hence that's the value of AlikAbility. And there are five steps. Step one is to figure out those four styles, have a description, know the values. Uh, step two is who are you? What's your style? Why is that important? You tend to sell the way you buy, so you need to know how you're configured, right? The third step is to diagnose your prospect style. And I teach my clients to do it in less than a minute. Uh, the fourth is to now shift. Remember those value words, respect or love. You shift what you say to match the other person. And the last step is well, we do have some blind spots. We don't really know sometimes how we're impacting others. So you need to downplay or discard that rough edge in you.

Carl: 10:34

Phenomenal. And you just breezed by that in a very precise and concise way. I want to unbundle this a little bit more if I can. With the personality styles, you said they're four. Are they based on color? Red, uh blue, or green, or something like completely different?

Nancy: 10:51

You're right to ask that question, Carl, because there are over 200 personality uh systems in the world. And color is one of them. Probably people have heard of something called DISC or Myers Briggs. There are animals like dog names, there are birds. Well, after 35 years of research, the system I use, which uh came from doing some research, we use numbers to describe these four styles. The numbers correspond to how many contacts someone needs before they make up their mind. So the numbers are two, four, six, and eight. Our number two buyer makes up their mind in only one, at most two contacts, that's decisive. So already you're getting a sense of their values, which is efficiency, speed, results, right? The number eight, on the other hand, which it takes the longest time, they take eight to infinity. Turn that eight on its side, it's infinity, right? The sign for infinity. This is the person who asks a lot of questions, needs scientific evidence, needs to consider and think about and digest and independently come to their own understanding. It takes a time for that to take place, hence eight or more context. And of course, the four and the six are in between. They too have very different values and priorities.

Carl: 12:17

Is it possible? And thank you so much for explaining that. Is it possible that we have a little bit of two, four, six, and eight in each of us? Or is it just I'm a two, you're an eight, oh, I gotta learn how to live with that.

Nancy: 12:31

Oh, I love the fact you said that because 70% of the population is strong in two styles, at least two styles. And one style we use socially, and that's the one that when we initially talk to someone, we think to ourselves, well, that's who they are. But then when we ask a decision for to make a buying decision, we ask a question, all of a sudden they revert to a different style, which is their buying style. So one of the things I teach is how to discern, how to figure out when someone has shifted their style. And it usually happens by listening to their vocal qualities or watching their behavioral cues, because they will slow down or speed up depending on a different style.

Carl: 13:19

And you're right, there's so many different personality styles out there. I didn't realize there were that many. I mean, I'd known of Myers Briggs and DISC, and I remember doing colors training back, don't even want to hazard a guess as to how many years ago it was, but it's at least 15. So I knew a little bit about it, but I didn't know if in this case it there was still an overlap with the with the different personality styles. So let me ask you this then. How is this beneficial, or how is this going to more deeply relate to podcasters? Give me, you know, your your perspective on that.

Nancy: 13:53

This is true for almost all of us. Of these four styles, two of them, remember I said 70% of the population goes between two styles. Well, two of those styles are you feel really connected to. It's instant rapport, easy to talk with them, easy to interview them. The other two styles, it feels like you know, pulling on a tar baby or getting stuck and you not getting anywhere, and you know, it's all balled up. So I recommend for those of you thinking about podcasting or currently have a podcast or want to be a guest, you want to find the right personality style, right? That chemistry. You know what I'm talking about. You vibe with certain people, right? Well, don't you want to talk to them rather than the ones you don't vibe with? So, how can you recognize who that is? Well, again, that's what I teach, so that you can screen them in or screen them out.

Carl: 14:54

Is it as simple as a screening process? Or I don't know if this is me just thinking, of course, I have my hosting hat on because I'm a host, but can a personality style be masked? So, for example, I have an initial conversation with you, and then we get to the interview, and it's a complete and utter, I don't know what went wrong, because it seemed like we were connecting on our discovery call.

Nancy: 15:18

Do you remember when I told you there's a social persona and then the decision-making persona? So that's what you're experiencing. The social persona came showed up for that initial interview and that initial screening. And you said to yourself, Oh, goody, this is going to be fun. And then who came for the interview? The one that was different. Because now that they had the transaction sewed up, so to speak, you know, then a different outside of them came out.

Carl: 15:46

Interesting. Is it something too that is, and and maybe I'm thinking of performance? Is it something that you can switch on, switch off? So, for example, if somebody knows they have to be on, they almost assume a certain personality, like a you know, broadcaster or an actor or a musician who knows that, hey, I have to do this time, I have to be this type of person here and there, here and now.

Nancy: 16:09

Absolutely. It is something you can switch on, especially if you are aware that you can bring your energy up or pull your energy down based on the situation. And that's part of what I also teach, because the person who's highly energetic and enthusiastic will turn off that person who is obviously more thoughtful and needs time, uh, and vice versa. The the one who's slower and more thoughtful is a pain in the neck to the one who wants things done now. So, yes, by understanding that these are differences, and you can take that into account in terms of how you show up, how you speak, how you present, even how you dress, so that the other person can feel like I get you, we're alike.

Carl: 16:57

Wow, phenomenal.

Nancy: 16:59

And some people are better at it than others, Carl, because some people are more emotionally, what's the right word? They have a higher EQ emotional quotient in terms of reading people and getting a sense of ooh, what I just said, you know, made them wince. But gee, when I do it this way, you know, we're it compatible.

Carl: 17:19

Wow. Okay. And I'm certainly glad you mentioned that. Almost like an empath in a way.

Nancy: 17:24

It could be, but again, I believe these things can be taught as opposed to a natural gift that someone has. And I want to emphasize that because the listener may be thinking, oh, I can never do that. But actually you can. You know, I've worked with hundreds of clients, and so I know that when you understand these four styles and the values underneath those styles, it's as easy as using the right words. When you use the language of the other person, like respect versus love, you're going to get the results you want.

Carl: 17:59

Does NLP play into this as well? Or is that something completely completely different?

Nancy: 18:05

I don't use NLP, but NLP Neurolinguistic programming, for those people who might not be familiar with these acronyms that we throw around. It's a good system for, again, building rapport with someone, and you do it through nonverbal uh behavioral cues. So if someone's smiling, you smile back. It's kind of a natural thing to do. But if they've got resting their hand on their chin, you might do that. And, you know, not immediately, but subtly, slowly do it. And the other person begins to think like, you know, this place of community that we're we really get each other. However, my concern is that it can be artificial. And when you overdo it, the other person, even if it's unconscious, they say to themselves, there's something phony here. And that's the reason why using words, which is what I teach, the value word, is much more genuine. Because when I use the right word, like for the number two, we mentioned that they want speed and results and efficiency. But talking about how we're going to get it done right away and let's get going, they're feeling like I'm getting there, as opposed to, you know, moving in really quickly. And, you know, they're going to think, what happened to this person? Did she become some sort of, you know, energizer bunny?

Carl: 19:28

And of course, the person to help you on this journey is Nancy. So definitely connect with her. Actually, Nancy, I'll give you the opportunity to share with folks at this time either how they can connect with you or what or what you'd like to pass along to them as your gift today.

Nancy: 19:43

What a good question because we talked earlier about I was gonna, based on our conversation, figure out what I was gonna pass along. And so I think what I'm gonna pass along is the Alikability Assessment. And this is an opportunity for you to identify your ideal prospects personality style. Wouldn't that be a little juicy tidbit to own? So I will provide the link and Carl will pass it along and you know, enjoy finding out just who is your ideal personality. Remember, there's usually two. Uh, this particular quiz will show you the first dominant one. And if you want to know the whole picture, then you and I should talk.

Carl: 20:28

That's a very, very generous gift. Thank you very much, Nancy. We'll make sure that link is in the show notes as well as all of your contact information, how to connect with her on social media, follow her, like her, all of that stuff. Oh my goodness. I feel like we could just continue to do this for the entire day, but we probably shouldn't. So we can have a round two, Carl. We'll definitely do round two. Maybe I should take the assessment, and round two is maybe unbundling my assessment. Maybe.

Nancy: 20:56

Oh, I would love to do that. Especially, by the way, I do this on LinkedIn. I read people's profiles on LinkedIn so you know who you're gonna talk to. And maybe you can use that for screening, Carl, and save yourself some aggravation.

Carl: 21:12

I love it. Let's definitely do that. Nancy's there before I turn you loose to uh go be personality driven with some uh fantastic clients that you serve. I'll give you the final thought.

Nancy: 21:24

Final thought. I hope that I have made some of your brain spin and twirl, and you're beginning to think, hmm, there's something more to this personality thing than I thought. Here's my quote that I'm known for. Information without application is useless. And so all the little nuggets you may have picked up today, and I hope there were many. If you don't put them into operation, it's gone, folks. Gonzo. So make a commitment that you're going to apply just one idea that you heard today. To your sales success, Nancy's here, sales whisperer.

Carl: 22:03

That's a great place to leave it. Nancy, thank you so much for being my guest today.

Nancy: 22:08

My pleasure.

Carl: 22:09

And hey, thank you for being a part of the show today. So glad you could join us. Believe it or not, I can't work this magic by myself. So, thanks to my amazing team, our audio engineer Dom Carillo, our sonic writing genius Kenton Dobrowolski, and the person who works the arms, all of our arms actually, our project manager and my trusty assistant, Julovell Tiongco, known to us here simply as July. If you like what you heard today, let us know. It can leave us a comment or review, or even send us a voice notes. And if you really liked it, we hope you'll share it with your friends and your colleagues. If you don't like what you heard today, well, please feel free to share with your enemies. And if you know someone who would make a great guest on the show, let us know about it. You can get in touch with us by going to our show notes where all of our connection points are there, including the links to our website, LinkedIn, and Facebook as well. And if you're ready to be a guest on podcasts, or even start your own show, let's have a conversation. We'll show you the simplest way to get into the podcasting space and rock it. Because after all, we're Podcast Solutions Made Simple. Catch again next time.